Actions VS Words

There’s the common phrase, “Actions speak louder than words.” People can say that they love you but it isn’t as effective as showing that love. Showing that love could be opening doors for the person, making them food, or playing with their hair. People can be total hypocrites. Where they say they hate it when someone does something but go and do the thing they just said they didn’t like other people doing. My class has just finished reading Catcher in the Rye and the narrator, Holden, hated the movies. He didn’t like the actors because they were “phony” and anyone who watched the movies were also “phony”. Yet he went on a date with Sally to the movies. People can say that they can do something and brag about it but when it comes to a point where they actually have to do it, they chicken out. Holden always talked about how he could fight and would always win. When a guy that was in charge of the hookers showed up at his door demanding the rest of the payment, Holden refused to pay. This resulted in a fist fight in which Holden got beaten into a pulp. He said that he could fight but didn’t even try when the other guy was throwing him punches. You can say things but they won’t mean as much as what you do to prove those words. Actions do speak louder than words.

catcher in the rye



To be or not to be…

A virgin. Now that I am finishing up 11th grade and everyone is slowing “growing up”, I am starting to feel like Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye. I mean, I’m totally okay with the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend or anything. I even had my first kiss last March, although the kiss wasn’t anything super special because I only knew the guy for a week. On the inside, I was really glad the “first kiss” was over. Now people would think I’m more mature right? People just assume that if you’ve done something physically intimate with someone, that they are automatically older than you mentally and better than you. I know a lot of people who aren’t virgins anymore. And it’s their business and their choices and their bodies, so I try not to focus on the fact that they’re still under 18. Actually, that’s all I really focus on.

I know there’s no time limit on when you can find love. But what most teenagers feel is just passionate lust. It isn’t love…and that’s probably why I feel really uncomfortable when people would just give it up to ANYBODY at the moment. In Catcher in the Rye, Holden explained that he can’t “get sexy” with somebody he doesn’t know that well, therefore, he refuses to lose his virginity to that one prostitute. The person he really cares about is Jane, and if he had a choice, he would gladly be passionate and intimate with her. I used to hear, and still do, that people eventually lost their virginity ,or feel the need to lose it, is just because of wanting to keep up with the status quo, the bandwagon. Every time I hear that, I frown in disbelief, “If you decide to do something because your peers are doing it, you are stupid.” But now…I sometimes feel like time is running out for me to lose the V card, which is entirely irrational because I’m only 17. Being a teen is hard because you’re torn between not feeling good enough about yourself in terms of grades, a social life, and not being able to get into a relationship. All these emotions-jealousy, angry, anxious, and depressed are dumped on your head and somehow you have to clean it all up and get past it.

I realized virginity is a very personal thing and should be held on until you are with the right person (doesn’t have to be until marriage) and you feel at ease, doesn’t matter about how OTHERS feel when you are ready. But unexpected consequences will be there if you are not careful.

Have control over your own life.  (Not my pic)

Have control over your own life.
(Not my pic)

Father Augustino, New Light

Yesterday I went to Orange County Youth Conference with my youth group. I didn’t know what to expect of it, since it was the first year the Catholic diocese would hold such an event for the youth. Coming into the event, it seemed upbeat just like the spirit at my own church. However, my real conversion did not start until the end when a Franciscan priest by the name of Father Augustino Torres gave his talk. He is Mexican and used his race as a humor, cracking jokes right and left. He had the audience at the edge of their seats, every word he said like it was carefully scripted and fool proof of not laughing. His energy that he brought into the conversation brought life to the orthodox roots of the Roman Catholic Church. He talked as he was excited of living as a Catholic. I had never seen a priest so passionate with what he was talking about. St that moment I realized that the Catholic Church wasn’t some Orthodox religion that is solely based on a bunch of old laws and the Old Testament from the bible. There was something special about the Catholic faith; it was the spirit that was brought out from the grace of God. There should be more priests like Father Augustino.

Riding Your Fears

There was a woman who committed suicide because she was scared of being single and lonely when she turned 30 years old. The world is constantly in the dark being repressed by irrational fears. I mean, not all fears are created equal. Some are childish and somewhat cute, like being scared of bugs or height, but fears can turn deadly when the cause is internal and not external. I think it’s extremely important that you conquer your external fears, because once you do, you will realize that you are fearless and can achieve anything.

I had successfully conquered my fear of ROLLER COASTERS yesterday on March 14, 2015 (or PI DAY).

As a child, I remember I hated the Dragon Swing the most and even the most gentle baby rides I was on, I cried at least twice (I was at least five years old). I don’t recall ever being on any rides after that until I was in eighth grade for Physics Day at Knotts Berry Farm. I was so scared after seeing big rides like Supreme Scream and Ghost Rider. My friends didn’t want to go on them and I didn’t either, but we still enjoyed Knotts the rest of the day by eating and riding in bumper cars! That same year I went again with my cousins and my aunt.

Again, we still played it really safe and got on rides like Silver Bullet and Jaguar and the highest thrill ride we got on was Supreme Scream. My aunt was so winded after Montezooma’s Revenge that she even vomited afterwards. Then we walked around the Board Walk and I really wanted to get rid of my fears and ride the bigger ones but NO one wanted to do it with me and I was just too scared at the time to do it by myself. And I guess here is the right place to stop and remind you that regardless if it’s about conquering your fears or having a group of friends, you have to find the right people to help you through tough times. In that current situation where I really wanted to be BIGGER than my fears, I couldn’t do it because the people who were with me were the wrong to help me conquer my fear of roller coasters. You wouldn’t bring a deaf person to go a concert with you, would you?

I knew yesterday would be different from all the times I have been to Knotts. When I was in line for Boomerang and Xcelerator I was TERRIFIED. I’m talking I could easily bust out  two Hail Mary and maybe do 20 pushups and jog a lap around Knotts. The knotts in your stomach only tightens up the closer you get- BUT WHEN THE RIDE FINALLY TAKES OFF…you feel like you’re soaring…and the sun is blinding your sight but you don’t really care…because everything is good and everything is well…in that split second you look over to your friend and sees that they’re really enjoy the same thing you do makes the experience ten times better. Maybe falling in love with someone isn’t that much far off.

If it's scary, paint that sh*t pink.

If it’s scary, paint that sh*t pink.

Be You


No…I don’t mean the overplayed soundtrack of Frozen. But if that inspires you to eventually “let it go” then please do listen to it. And you are probably wondering why? Because I know that a lot of us went through some really tough times in 2014, or maybe you are even experiencing a bad time as we speak, and I am here for you. So your first step is to get rid of that burden and extra baggage to let the momentum slows down a little bit..have a seat…drink some hot tea…and relax.

It doesn’t seem like we ever learn our lessons, but again it’s inevitable. Humans interact. Humans exchange emotions. Humans depend on each other for survival. That’s just the basics. Human relationships are complicated, sometimes a happy one or sometimes a very cruel and unusual one. And most of the time…we gather all of our energy for that ONE person and I am talking about every second and minute of the day you just can’t stop thinking about that person. And eventually you realize that’s the only reason you can be happy. That’s not true, not very true at all. You probably have great interests in exercising or even writing or surfing or cooking or painting or watching Breaking Bad or whatever that you used to do but YOU gave that up and decided that investing time (time is money!!!) for someone that may not deserve your dedication is an excellent decision. For all I know, YOU could be having the BEST moments of your life, EVERY SINGLE DAY, having the opportunities to enjoy all the little things that make YOU happy. Know your worth. Prioritize your life. Get RID of things that don’t mean anything to you anymore, because if you don’t want to place a defined value on that item, not only will that lift off the heavy weights on your shoulders but also helps you to understand what’s important or what’s not important at the moment of your life right now. There is a time and place for everything, and yes, even those old socks NEED TO GO.

Let me put it simply: Stop putting others’ happiness over yours. I know you’re thinking that you’re doing something great (believe me, it’s amazing) but it’s also BS. At the end of the day, being selfish is a good thing. Like eating and exercising and fashion, MODERATE is the absolute key. It can be too much of a bad thing if you are too nice. If you don’t try to be nice at all, then you need to get a life check and fix yourself because the world does not revolve around you.

Over Thanksgiving Break where I had a lot of time to myself, I was thinking about all the people that I know and just the relationship and values that I share with these people. Then I got to this particular person, a crush you could say. I spent the last six months head over heels over this person, someone I’ve never talked to but was always very interested, and I

Let all good things go...eventually something else will come along your way.

Let all good things go…eventually something else will come along your way. Photo@ 2013 by Cedelros (CC BY- ND 2.0)

would just wait for the chance when we might cross paths. It just gets to a point where it is all very time consuming and almost tiring. And when I let thoughts of him go I felt very relaxed to just be me. (I’m not going to lie though my heart still races sometimes when I see him)

Overall, be happy. Don’t be overly attached to an item, a person, or a place, because once you are no longer controlled by that “thing” you’re so obsessed with, you will be able to grow spiritually. You will want to try something new for a change. Being dependent on your significant other is like trying to fit two people under an umbrella, someone is going to get wet and it will most likely be you.