Why is it so hard for people to express themselves?

All though we have all been told how we should all express ourselves and not hide anything inside. But for some people it can be very difficult to express themselves.

I think that a person’s peers play a large role in whether or not they choose to express themselves. This can be seen clearly in “The Catcher in the Rye”. Holden spends a large amount of the novel trying to get people to listen to him. Though he talks to several people throughout the story he doesn’t feel as if any of them are really listening to him. This causes him to not express himself through his words because he feels as if no one cares and no one wants to listen.

Another common reason for someone not to express themselves is a fear of being judged. They might feel that if they express how they feel to someone whether through writing or verbally that the person might see it as annoying or tease them(Expressing Emotions: Why is it so difficult?.Yasinski). While this is common, it is not a fear that anyone should have to have. It has become part of our society to be self-centered, so a lot of people seem uninterested when someone else and how that person feels is the topic of discussion. This causes many people to shy away from expressing themselves.

I believe that a fear of being judged is also a reason why in “The Catcher in the Rye” Holden struggles to express himself, and when he does say something he usually contradicts it. He fears that if he says something that someone else might make fun of him or disagree with him. So, he contradicts it later hoping to please everyone.

There are a lot people that just struggle to express themselves verbally. A lot of people prefer to express themselves through their writing because they are afraid that they will be judged of the express themselves verbally. This is the reason why many people chose to keep journals or diaries. “The reason for this preference once again has to do with how our brains are wired: written words use different pathways in the brain, which seem to flow fluently for many introverts” (Why do introverts struggle to speak.Granneman). While they are afraid to express themselves verbally they can express themselves just as effectively through their writing and it causes them less stress and anxiety.

So through my reading I think that I have learned that there are many parts of a person’s surroundings and peers that determine how comfortable they are with expressing themselves, and that is why many people struggle with expressing themselves.


The Memories Are Worth the Stress

So last week was a very inserting and stressful week for me. It started last Tuesday when the new captains for my color guard team were announced.

Just to give you a little background I have tried out for captain three times including this year. The process for trying out for captain on my team is a long and involved process. Our team usually has two captain, three section leaders (flag, rifle, sabre), and a vice president. Last year I was given the sabre section leader position. At the end of this year one of our captains graduated and out of the rest of the leaders only the second captain and I would be returning for the next season.

Back to the announcement, I was announced as the captain. I was thrilled when this was announced and after all of the other positions were announced I realized something. There was only one captain announced and it was me. This meant that last year’s returning captain was now sabre section leader. This was something that had not happened before.

The next few days were very stressful for me. It consisted of a lot of figuring out how to do things and asking questions. After a lot of stress things are finally starting to fall into place.

Over the last week I have learned so much. I learned about communication and leadership. The next year as captain is going to be a stressful one, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love color guard and my team and I am going to make so many new memories as captain.


Well the school is finally winding down to the end, only three weeks to go. I survived AP testing, my SAT, and most of color guard season, now I just have finals and my ACT. So sounds like a great time to move out of my house for six weeks, or not.

Okay its not like we are just randomly moving out of our house for six weeks. There was a leak that caused a lot of damage to the first floor, so while they fix it my family and i are living in a hotel. Sounds nice right, a hotel with free breakfast, a maid, and a pool for 6 weeks. Well, in our house we had my dad who works from home, my brother who is currently studying to get his masters at UCI, my older sister who is home from college for the summer, my younger sister, my mom, me, and a dog. So a hotel for six weeks is not exactly ideal, but we are making it work.

I think the hardest part for all of us is that it threw a wrench into our typical routine. Human beings love routine, everyone has their typical routine from what time they wake up in the morning to when they go to sleep at night. And now we are being forced to change our daily routine to accommodate a longer drive to and from school, being spread out in three hotel rooms, and not having the freedom you have in your own house. While it has been difficult we have been able to make it work so far.

We have only been here for a week, so we still have a ways to go, but we are finding ways around the problems. For example family dinners while everyone is spread out in three kind of small hotel rooms is not easy, but we figured it out. So while this time of the school year may not have been the best point to have a huge change like this, we are all working together to make it as easy a s possible.

the desk when we first arrived

the desk when we first arrived

Sorry doesn’t always fix the mistake

Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
-Ok, Done.
Did it break?
Now say sorry to it.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
Do you understand?

A lot of you have probably read or heard this before, because it has circulated the internet especially social media for a while. But, many people do not even think twice about it when they read it.

Sorry is very commonly used word, but in reality it has lost its real meaning. There are so many people that say sorry because they know they are supposed to even if they do not mean it. This has caused the word to not really mean anything anymore.

The short dialogue at the beginning of this blog post talks about breaking a plate, comparable to the person that was hurt in whatever the situation was, and how saying sorry does not fix the plate. This is very true. A lot of people say sorry when they do something that hurts someone else and they think that just because they apologized that everything will go back to the way it was, and that is just not how it works. But, they have the idea that sorry makes everything better, so sometimes instead of learning from their mistake they think it is not that big of a deal because if they hurt you again then they can just say sorry again.

At some point everyone is on the receiving of something that really hurts them whether it’s a comment or an action. And when the person that said it or did it apologizes you still don’t feel better. Even though the person say that they are sorry it does not make whatever they did go away. Even if you know that it was something they said in the heat of the moment because they were angry about something, you still remember the comment they made or the thing they did. And your relationship with that person will never be the same.

So next time you are angry make sure to stop and think. Because if you just say the first thing that comes into your mind you could hurt someone. And just like the plate saying sorry might not fix it every time.

[Photo@2012 by Nancy (CC BY 2.0)]

True Friends

At some point in our lives we all have a time when we just really need someone to talk to. For some people they might turn to a parent, a sibling,a friend, or just anyone that they know they can trust. I for one pretty much always turn to my friends. Well, mainly one of them that I know is always willing to talk to me. I am known by my family for talking to this one friend pretty much nonstop. But isn’t that what a best friend is supposed to be? Someone you can text or call at any hour of the day or night whether you need to talk or you are just bored. I for one and very glad that I have a friend like that. Who doesn’t get mad when I take too long to reply, who replies even if all I’m doing is complaining, but also understands if I’m just not in the mood to talk. I am honestly not sure what I would do without her.

I think it is really important to have someone like this in your life. That way no matter how you feel you always have someone that you can turn to. It’s also very important to be this person for other people. You should always be there to listen when someone needs to talk or they might not be there to listen to you. So next time one of your friends is there to listen to you remember that and try to be there for them.


20 Seconds of Insane Courage

Just 20 seconds that’s all it takes. Now most of you are probably wondering what in the world I am talking about. Well some of you might remember the movie “We Bought a Zoo” from a few years ago (most of you probably don’t). In a brief summary, it’s a story about a newly single dad and his children that buy and restore an old run down zoo. Most of you are probably wondering why I am talking about a movie from a few years ago that most people probably haven’t even seen. But, the movie itself really isn’t the point. It’s actually one scene in the movie. A conversation between the dad and his son, they are talking about the girl that his son likes and how their relationship isn’t going very well. That’s when the dad says, “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.

I recently rediscovered this quote, and I feel like it is a really great quote to share with everyone. Because everyone has moments where they really want to do that one thing but they are afraid it won’t work out or they will be embarrassed or something like that. But, what if that thing was a once in a lifetime opportunity. You don’t know what you could be missing out on but if you had just 20 seconds of insane courage you could stand up and do whatever it was that you were scared of.

I don’t know about you, but I can think of plenty of times that I didn’t do something to save me from the possibility of embarrassing myself. And I still use that as an excuse today, just like a lot of other people. But next time you think twice about doing something because you don’t know how it will work out or you don’t want to be embarrassed, just remember “sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage…And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Advertisement. 23 December 2011.

New things

My freshman year of high school I joined color guard. Not necessarily because I wanted to but because my mom always told my siblings and I, that we had to get involved in something in high school. For my older siblings it was easy. My brother had been in band since fourth grade so naturally he joined the marching band in high school, and my older sister had been playing soccer since she was eight so she joined the soccer team. My mom was actually the one who suggested that I try out for color guard, and since before high school I wasn’t really involved in anything I didn’t know what else to join. But little did I know that once I joined color guard I would never look back.

Color guard has definitely not been easy but I if I had the chance I would pick it again anyway. My freshman year there were 11 freshman on the team, only 6 of us are left. That year was hard because not only was it my first year of high school but I was also trying to learn something completely new. But, at the end of that year I actually ended up getting the freshman of the year award along with one of my best friends on the team. That was when I knew that I had picked the right activity to join in high school.

My sophomore year was really good. We had one of the largest color guard teams we have had in a while with 29 members. That year we took first place at championships in the fall. Our winter season was not quite as good. We were split into two teams, which was something that our color guard had never done before. I was on varsity which was difficult at first because two of my best friends were on the junior varsity team. But, we learned to make it work. At the end of that season the junior varsity team ended up taking first in their division, and the varsity team ended up taking fifth.

My junior year so far has ended up being the best year. For starters I was given the title of sabre section leader, and it’s not captain but it’s still a leadership position so I was happy.  And once again we managed to take first place in the fall season.

While I have definitely had good and bad experiences since I joined color guard, it is one decision that I will never regret. I have made so many memories and life-long friends. I am so thankful that my mom forced me to get involved in something my freshman year, she made me step out of my comfort zone and it definitely paid off. So next time you are don’t want to take that step because it’s out of your comfort zone, go for it. It could end up being one of the best decisions you make.

wgi riverside

Keep An Open Mind

My little sister has recently started cheerleading and today I attended a cheer competition for the first time. With my sister being the first in our family to try cheerleading my mother and I had no idea what to expect walking into that gym.

But, one thing that I remembered walking into that gym was a presentation I had listened to in my English class the Friday before. We had had our annual day of dialogue at my school, and in English I listened to a presentation about stereotyping. The presenter talked about stereotyping and the negative effects it can have on the person being stereotyped. We also did an exercise where we had a label of a commonly stereotyped group on our back and other people asked us questions and made comments based on that label so we could figure out what it said. This exercise really showed how often we witnessed or were a part of stereotyping because many of us didn’t struggle to come up with things to say or to figure what our label said.

This came to my mind because most people know that there is definitely a widespread stereotype for cheerleaders. I know a few cheerleaders at school and knew that they didn’t follow this stereotype but since I had never been to a full scale cheer competition I did not know what to expect. So in response to this I decided to walk into that gym with an open mind. And as a result I learned many things about cheerleaders. First of all, what they do is definitely not easy, and is also very dangerous. Second, the teams are all very supportive of the others even their direct competitors. Lastly, they are all very proud of what they do no matter what other have to say about it.

So today I had a first-hand experience in how stereotyping in inaccurate. So next time you try something for the first time or meet someone for the first time, keep an open mind. You never know what you will learn from it.


“First place Fulton! Good job!”

The Beginning of the Rest of Your Life

Last week at my school we began the process of registering for classes for next year. This process is pretty much the same every year. The only difference this year is that it’s my last time registering for high school classes and this process made me realize how close I am to becoming a senior. And that’s terrifying.

The process started last week by once again having the career center explain to us what we had to do to graduate and what we needed to get into college. It’s not like this was the first time I realized I would be a senior next year. I mean the college mail for months, signing up for the ACT/SAT, and now registering for classes all made it seem real.

Today we had to listen to the lecture about picking our actual classes for next year, and the whole lecture started with a saying I have heard quite a few times lately, “These decisions are the beginning of the rest of your life”(or anything along those lines). This saying only makes everything about signing up for senior classes more terrifying.

I also spent some time thinking about this and realized that in picking my classes they weren’t necessarily things that will help me with what I want to do for the rest of my life. I for one already know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be an elementary special education teacher. And while looking at the classes I plan to take, I realized that none of these classes would really help me with that.

Next year I plan to take AP English 4, AP French 4, AP Statistics, Government/Economics, and Color guard. While these are all classes that I need for college that is really the only reason I am taking them. So now when I think about this saying I think more about how much pressure is put on all of us to take these difficult classes in high school even if they don’t help with what we want to do in the future.

So if you are stressed and terrified for your senior year of high school just remember to breathe, and that no matter what you decide it will all work out.


Photo @2014 by Matthias Baudinet (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

Finding Your “Thing”

Recently I was listening to a podcast for my English assignment, and it was and interview of Seth Godin. Towards the end of this interview they started to talk about something that really stuck with me. They talked about everyone having their thing, and everyone having a passion even if that passion wasn’t their talent.


Photo @2012 by Desiree (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

I for one spent a large amount of my childhood trying to find “my thing”. I was a dancer, a baseball player, a gymnast, an actress, a soccer player, a volleyball player, and basically every other activity a parent can enroll their child in. Now this wasn’t because my parents wanted me to be that child that was part of everything. It was because I just couldn’t find my place. No matter what I tried there was always something that I used as a reason to quit. For baseball I complained it was a boys sport, I didn’t like gymnastics because my little sister was better than me, I didn’t like soccer because I didn’t score, I said I was too short to play volleyball. This was a struggle for me for a long time.

I know that everyone doesn’t go through this. I mean I watched my sister grow up playing soccer from the age of 7 and still playing now on a scholarship in college. I watched my brother play baseball from first grade until eighth grade, and play in band from fourth grade until he graduated high school. Some people just find that activity that clicks for them, and they stick with it.

I’m sure some of you have gone through the same thing. Where everyone else has that one thing they love to do and you are still looking for yours. It can be hard sometimes. But eventually everyone finds that one thing as long as they keep looking. My problem when I was little was that I wanted immediate satisfaction. I wanted to be the best on the team even though I just started. And that was completely unrealistic. If you find that thing you really love then stick with it, whether you are the worst or the best all that matters is that you are having fun.

No you probably read that sentence and said “yeah that’s what everybody says”. But it’s true. It took me until my freshman year of high school to find “my thing”. I joined colorguard and haven’t looked back since. So just trust me, if you are still trying to find “your thing” then just keep looking, everyone has something even if that passion isn’t your talent.