Expired Friendships

I once believed that any people I made friends with would stay with me forever. The first friend that I had was in Vietnam, when I was in first grade. That friendship ended abruptly because I had to move to California, but we weren’t close enough for me to feel sad about it. To be honest, I wasn’t close with anyone in elementary school except with three people. When we all entered middle school, one of the girls went to a different school so naturally we grew apart, although I would catch up with her occasionally over email (old school, I know). At the end of middle school, I was close with two of the girls that I knew from elementary school and one new girl, X, Y, and Z. At that point in life, I thought, “This is it. These are going to be my bestest friends until I die.”

Little did I know, high school would change that. In freshman year, X, Y and I were in the same high school. We had a blast and a lot of jokes in freshman year and everything was pretty stable. By sophomore year, I had to leave X and Y, however, I get to join Z. We barely texted or caught up with each other in freshman year so I thought this would be a perfect time to rekindle this friendship. At the beginning of sophomore year, we hung out during lunch but we didn’t have any classes together so naturally I started eating lunch with my cousin and/or study during lunch in the bathroom, which I didn’t mind really. Sophomore year was just a really uneventful and depressing year to be honest. I also rarely talked to X or Y, and now I was drifting from Z.

But junior year is going to be different, or so I thought, for a good few months! By the summer of sophomore year I was talking to X a lot and as usual, we always joked and laughed and gossiped, like all normal teenagers. The first two months of school we hung out a total of five times and I was so happy that we got to share and make memories rather than reminiscing about freshman year, which by now, is like a light year away. However, from November to January, X wasn’t texting me as much and even when X did, the conversations were quite weird. I knew X’s parents were getting a divorce, but I still felt being thrown out of the loop as X never really mentioned any details, to which I guess I could understand, but you have to know that we’ve been friends for seven years. In January, we finally hung out at a school sports event and X told me we needed to hang out every time there was a home game. I was obviously excited…until I realized that that was never going to happen. For 5 weeks straight after that, every time I asked, X would come up with excuses-real situations or not- X never carried out those promises and I was angry,internally. I didn’t want to call X out for that because X’s dad was my ride and I didn’t want to seem rude or anything.

Two months after that, we finally hung out, once in March and another time at X’s house. Things were going good until X decided to be with this guy, who I never approved of. Just going by looks, he seems sketchy and he smokes. X would tell Y and I some of their private things and every time, I said I didn’t care because I just don’t like the guy. Usually X wouldn’t care, but this time around, X started dismissing my thoughts and simply just said “I’m maturing”.

So I guess I’m ALSO maturing by slowly breaking ties with X. Recently last week, I’ve been deleting X’s messages and other social medias. It might seem petty, but I don’t feel like wasting any more of my time with a “friend” who doesn’t really have my best interest in their mind. Seven years mean absolutely nothing anyway, because we had already drifted in sophomore year. I don’t think I care to “talk it out” with X. To me, it’s not worth communicating with someone who just doesn’t have the same mindset or goals as you do. So, I guess the moral of this post is to go and open your eyes. See who will be there for you and will care for your opinions, because that mean that you are significant enough in their life for them to listen to you and care for what YOU have to say.

“Some people come in your life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons”

Only the ones that stay matter.

Only the ones that stay matter.

[Photo@2005 by Hotrodhomepage (CC BY 2.0)]

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